Salmon Andy comin atcha!

"Nine days in and coworkers have begun to mock me, referring to me as "The homeless man's Johnny Depp." My boss has begun pimping me out as an extra in Shakespearean dinner theaters. Women are disgusted by me although to be fair, I'm not sure how strongly the mustache has influenced that. The only positive is my morning radio show is really taking off...... Salmon Andy is BACK!"