We have an early favorite.  This stache is not for the faint of heart.  Coon-Doggy's mustache has it's own ecosystem which is currently sustaining new types of life forms.  It's gritty, grimy, and scares small children. Everything a true stache should be:

Wife Meter: Green - she knew what she was getting into.  His stache was his best man.

Work Meter: Constant Green - Mustaches are required to put out fires.  Fireman hiring exams consist of 3 parts -  written test, physical, mustache measurement.