This is why I don't grow facial hair.

What I think I look like:

What I actually look like:

After a week and a half, itchiness has set in.. It feels like a thousand ants crawling on my face.   As you can see, I lack significant coverage in my lip area, which is crucial for mustache.

Wife Meter: Laughing at me

Work Meter: Comments & Questioning.  Getting close to being asked to shave.